Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Now Serving: Deer Butt Chili

I find that long term boiling and a food processor can make almost anything edible, even deer butt.

Last week, M., a former student, dropped off two deer roasts for me, perhaps in appreciation for the hours I spent tutoring him as an eighth grader in an effort to get him to do his work. Now, as a freshman in high school he has nearly straight A's, without my help.

I got the packages out of the school freezer today and wondered what kind of dinner they could become.

One package label read, "12-24-08".... Oh, a Christmas Eve deer. That must have been a great Christmas for M. Not so much so for the deer. Below that, "Rump." M. brought me deer butt. Appreciation or retribution?

As I was pondering the symbolism of such a gift, I turned it over and read further, "Ass End." I debated telling Ismael that we were having the ass end of a deer for dinner. If I did, I would be dining alone.

Instead, I told him we were having deer chili. "It's pork?" he asked. He asks this all the time as if I would find it funny to sneak pork into my Muslim husband's dinner. No, deer and pig are not the same. He muttered something about swine flu and wandered away.

I set the pot to boil on the stove, added onions, tomatoes, and deer and settled in for a long boil to make the tough cut of meat edible.

During a break in my pot watching, I saw a 6 inch spider man hanging mid air out side of our patio door and caught on our clothesline. The 3 year old upstairs chattered away in Spanish as he yanked on the string to pull Spidey back to his web. More pot checking.

After 3 hours of boiling I had little hope - then I remembered a food processor can make almost anything tender. The big chunks of meat fell victim to the shredding blades. Back in the pot with more onions. And me back to my computer and the black hole that is Facebook.

Something was amiss - I looked at the screen door (now open) and realized that the three year old was no longer upstairs, but in my doorway and my inside cats...outside. Aye caramba. I introduced my Swahili named gatos, Moshe and Tembo, to him and he appreciatively stroked and chased each of them around the patio only to be scooped up by his embarrassed father.

It's been a multicultural night around here... a little Spanish, a little Swahili, and a whole lot of redneck.

2 comments:

  1. oh my gosh Janet! you have the writing talent of a new age erma bombeck! tell us: what happened to the 'deer ass' ?! {beth b. sent your blog to me} :)

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  2. I poured it over spaghetti, slathered it in hot red pepper, and served it to my African husband. :) I find I can put any kind of food on the table as long as it is on top of a starch, smothered in some sort of fire breathing condiment, and of course, not pork. :)

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