When I began this blog, I remarked to my friend Beth, "I'm trying to decide if I am just overly irritated by Oprah's show today or if I really have something to say." I wondered what I could write about on a regular or semi-regular basis.
Ahh..silly child. God will provide.
It started with furry eyebrows. I hate having them waxed at the beautician's. I think she takes some sadistic pleasure from ripping them off my face. Left unchecked, they look like angry caterpillars. A happy medium would be microwavable wax. (see a kitchen disaster in the making? Stay tuned.)
Whenever I have used this wax, it has never, ever, ever melted in less than 6 minutes. Ever. Eeeever.
I popped it in the microwave, set it for five minutes and happily returned to the computer. Just a few minutes of facebook crack and then on to short lived pain and smooth clean brows if everything goes well. The worst event I imagined was inadvertantly ripping one eyebrow completely off before tomorrow's school May Crowning mass and brunch. To say that would be bad is an understatement. 8th graders are fairly self-absorbed creatures but surely to God they would notice THAT.
Only 2.5 minutes later... *snap*crackle*pop* and let me tell you, not a Rice Krispie in sight.
I ran to the kitchen, threw open the microwave door, and the familiar experience of smoke rolling out of a kitchen appliance into my face set me into action. Not only had the wax melted in record time, so had the hard plastic container. In a puddle. In the bottom of the microwave. Lucky me - I had removed the rotating glass plate because it was dirty.
Luckily, I am a pro at this.
1. Turn on microwave fan
2. Open kitchen window.
3. Snatch small fan and set it as exhaust.
4. Turn on dining room celing fan, throw open sliding door.
5. Run to bedroom, get other fan, turn on somewhere in the house.
6. Cuss.
Is this what "dual exhaust" means?
So now. Clean up. Paper towels? Oh, no we don't have any of those.
Swiffer sweeper "dusters", come to mama.
Putty knife to scrape with? Nope, Pampered Chef kitchen spatula? Yes!
I am the MacGyver of kitchen disaster clean up.
I did as much of it tonight as I could stand and had the imagination for. Knowing that my husband will come home from work in the morning and microwave something, I left this "love note" for him. Remembering that we are out of tape and I recently wrapped a birthday gift with scrapbooking adhesive, I slid the paper through the handle and fled the scene of the crime.
I don't know how I will fix this tomorrow, but inspiration will surely strike.
I'm hungry - guess I'll eat something meant to be served cold.
I'll call the beautician tomorrow.
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