Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Memorial Day at Wal Mart

Memorial Day is the day set aside to honor those who have served our country. We do so by standing in line at Wal Mart.

Seriously, I had to have formula. I don't know what the other 8,000 people were doing there.

There are four Wal-Marts within about 20 minutes of our apartment. There is "work" WalMart, 'mom" WalMart, "on my way to somewhere else" WalMart, and "ghetto" WalMart all named for what they are closest to. Unfortunately, ghetto WalMart is the closest to our place.

About two months ago Ismael was going to leave to buy formula (our never ending quest) at our WalMart. He came in the living room and announced, "I can't go." Sensing some man plot to get out of this necessary task, I questioned him further. "There's been a shooting in the parking lot," he said. Surely now he was really lying. Turning on the television proved it. The police had arranged a drug deal in the parking lot that had gone bad, resulting in a police action shooting. At 2:30 PM. Can't they save that stuff for 2:30 AM??

I visit each of them with some regularity, but not enough to remember where things are. Yesterday at on my way to somewhere else (and more fun) Wal Mart, I had four things on my mind: formula, eggs, bread, and pictures. Really, I had five things, but still can't remember the fifth. I nixed the eggs because you see, I was on my where somewhere else. That WalMart is just not in a good location for me to purchase perishables.

I searched every aisle for bread, only to find it in the back of the store, in the corner, where the infant section used to be. Okay, great. Where is the infant section? I found it next to electronics. Now that makes perfect sense. After I purchase their store brand formula for $11 a can, I'll surely have enough left over to buy that Ipod Touch I've been wanting. Whatever.

Also, in the move they placed the aisles even closer together. You can barely pass another cart. If your child doesn't keep their arms and legs inside the ride at all times it could definitely be severed right there in the diaper section.

I scoured the aisles for formula, which I didn't find, and was momentarily distracted by the cute baby boy clothes that my 7 month old should still fit into, instead of the 12-18 month clothing he is in.

Distraction = downfall.

I couldn't find the formula. I scanned my brain trying to remember. Ghetto WalMart has it in the baby section, on lockdown. You always have to get an associate to open it. Mom WalMart has it in checkout 22, next to cigarettes. Work WalMart has it on a shelf in the infant section, no lock. Guess there are no thieves or drug dealers who want the powder to cut the strength of cocaine or heroin. I work in a place better than I live.

But, I digress.

I could NOT remember where this WalMart kept it.

Adam and I headed to the front of the store, walked the checkout line several times, no result.

Back to the infant section where we found it, next to those beautiful baby clothes that so blinded me on our first visit back to the department.

As I was heading BACK to the front of the store, I pulled the pacie from Adam's mouth, hoping for some sound of encouragement from the young son.

"Hey, kitty kitty, da da da da" he replied. Now, I know that his "words" are words in the same way that we see clouds in the summer sky and see clowns, birds, or Jesus in their forms. It's all in the eye of the beholder. Surely he knows already that the words kitty and da da do NOT go in the same sentence.

We are now stocked up with enough English Muffins and baby formula to get through the week. I don't know which WalMart I'll be at next week, but I know I'll be there...looking for baby formula.

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